I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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