My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
