Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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