There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
