oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
