Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
