the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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