I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
