i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
