Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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