Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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