I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
