I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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