Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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