Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
