Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
