wake up i wanna do it froggy style
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
