You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
