I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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