If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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