Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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