i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
