Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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