You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
