doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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