So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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