we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
