No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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