I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
