I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
