Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
