She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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