Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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