i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i drank out of a bidet.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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