You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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