Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Someone shattered a urinal.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
