I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
