That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
