glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
