You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
