I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
