Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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