You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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