So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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