Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
