whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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