On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
