he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
