I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
