I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My feet surprised me
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
