Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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