i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
